She Says
by demilylove
Summary: LOST isn't perfect. Who knew? Spoilers for 3x06. Angst. OneShot.


**She Says**

_Author's note: writers suck. Yes, they do. 3x06 is not gonna be this brilliant episode they keep bragging about. We can only hope the following would be kinder with us. Enjoy._

_Song by Howie Day, title is the same as the story's title._

Kate wanted to kick and scream as she was led to an unknown destination with that bag on her head. But on the other hand, she felt so empty and blank, she didn't even bother. She thought she had a good idea as to where Juliet was taking her, but she preferred to not get her hopes up.

At this point, she thought bitterly, would she rather see him?

How did things get so messed up was beyond her. It was only 4 days ago when she last saw Jack. When her eyes immediately went in search for his, searching for an answer she knew he couldn't offer. But in a way, in that specific Jack way, he made her feel like everything is going to be alright. Together or apart, they will survive this and reunite.

Why the hell did they have to pair her up with Sawyer? Why not Jack? What was going on in here? Why the hell no one could offer a single clear answer? Haven't they gone through enough without being held captive by mad people?

At a certain point, she lost all hope of seeing Jack anytime soon. And then Sawyer offered the oh, so comforting advice that he might already be dead. The look she shot him could've killed.

She hated to admit it, but she grew closer to Sawyer in captivity. Most of the time she didn't like what she saw or heard, but she couldn't help but feeling flattered whenever he'd made a comment about her looks. She hated the fact he made her feel this way – but he did. And then he kissed her. She forgot where she was, what they were doing, she forgot the unbelievable lose she felt when they took Jack away from them. She just got lost in his kiss.

Then Pickett came and mimicked every single WWE match on Sawyer. She was desperate. She couldn't lose another one. As far as she knew, Jack was already gone. She couldn't bear losing Sawyer as well. So she said the one thing to make him stop. And he did. She took it back soon enough, but she couldn't help but think – she did love him. In a twisted sort of way, she understood him. He was a part of her. They connected. She couldn't not love someone who's so like her.

When Juliet told her about Pickett's plans her mind went into overload. She had to save Sawyer, had to see Jack, had to do something. So she did the only thing she thought would do both.

She slept with him.

After deciding upon it, her head went completely blank. She couldn't be bothered to over think the decision 'cause she'd known she'd regret it if she got the second to consider this. She felt disgusted with herself the second it was all over. But she knew this would 'cause the Others to separate them, not just by nearby cages. She got out. Twice. They'd want her as far as possible from him.

"Where are you taking me?" Kate's muffled sound came from underneath the bag.

She wasn't stupid. She knew she wouldn't get an answer. But at least she'd find out soon enough.

They entered a cold, damp room and Kate felt as though she would suffocate any minute now. She tried to not think about it so she won't get hurt, but her heart couldn't help but flutter already.

Juliet took the bag off her head and Kate immediately gasped, her heart skipping a beat and her knees growing weak. This was beyond pathetic. She just slept with another man and yet only seeing Jack made her react this way.

Her hand instinctively went to the glass door, her palm flattening against it. She pressed her body against it, just watching. She was able to do so for about 5 seconds, just letting the sight of him sink into her, mesmerize her, before Juliet took a hold of her arm and pulled her away. She led her to the entrance of his cell and unlocked it quickly. Once the door opened Jack immediately looked at it. At her.

And then she started crying.

_And that's why I'm wondering why you had to tell me  
What's going on in your head what's wrong  
Come around to another time when you don't have to run  
And when she says she wants somebody else  
I hope you know she doesn't mean you  
And when she breaks down and makes a sound  
You never hear her the way that I do  
And when she says she wants someone to love  
I hope you know she doesn't mean you  
And when she breaks down and lets you down  
I hope you know she doesn't mean you, yeah_

She covered her face quickly, her face twitching with pain. In the blur of her tears she managed to see him looking away, lowering his head.

"Jack." Juliet started softly. "As agreed, 5 minutes. And then you tend him."

Even between her meltdown, Kate couldn't help but notice the soft voice Juliet had used when she talked to him. And she hated that.

What the hell did 'as agreed' meant, anyway? Did they plan this? Did he ask to see her?

Jack gave Juliet a short nod, and soon enough she was gone, locking the door after her.

Kate stayed put. She dried her eyes as her crying subsided, and kept looking at him, waiting for him to acknowledge her. He looked just like she assumed she did. Blank. Hurt. Drained. She assumed he knew and hated the fact she caused him to look the way he did.

"Jack." She managed out. It was over as soon as it begun. When he immediately looked at her, almost glaring.

"It was all my fault." He said suddenly. She just looked at him surprised, waiting for him to continue. "I got so close when I knew I shouldn't. You've done it before. When you lied about the keys, when you kissed me and then said you were sorry… you've broken my heart before." He finished in a low tone. The tears immediately returned her face and she was crying soundlessly, listening to him. "But me? I just keep coming back for more."

With that, he let out a short, bitter chuckle and rose from his seat on the floor. He moved to her far end and stood with his back to her.

"Jack, please…" she pleaded, then trailed off, probably knowing he wouldn't let her finish.

"Don't." he muttered, facing her, his jaw clenched.

"I didn't mean…" she started, now crying, but he – once again – cut her off.

"Didn't mean what? Sleep with him? Or was it the fact I had to sit through and watch it that you didn't mean to happen?" he snarled.

"I…" she sniffled, wiping her eyes, "I'm sorry. I'm sorry I hurt you. But I only did it so they'd let me see you."

"Is that so?" he laughed bitterly, "do me a favor, Kate. Don't ever do things for me again."

She couldn't stand it. Being so distant from him yet standing two feet away. The way he was talking to her, the way he suddenly didn't care she was crying and hurting.

In a rash spur of the moment, she leaned forward and tried to grab his arm. He jerked away, shooting her a glare.

"I need you." She whispered feeling helpless, "I need you to forgive me. I need you to let me touch you."

She couldn't deny she felt stupid for talking this way, but it was physically hurting her now.

"You were my everything." He said, his tone suddenly changing from harsh to painful. "And now… now I can't even look at you, let alone touch you."

She inhaled sharply, not sure if it was due to his confession of what she meant to him or due to the painful words coming afterwards.

"Jack…" she started in a surprisingly calm tone, "I'm sorry for everything. You don't have to believe me, but I just want you to know that I love you."

If she had dared to look at him when she said those words, she would've been rewarded by the shocked expression on his face. But only for a second, 'cause then his tough exterior came back.

"I've loved you since the first time I saw you." She continued, to his dismay. He just wanted her out of there. He certainly did not want her to keep breaking him slowly with her words. "You made my knees weak. My heart flutter. You still do." She whispered tearfully, facing him.

For the longest time, they just stared at each other. She saw the tears in his eyes, and more than anything wanted to touch his cheek, to kiss his lips. But she didn't move. She waited for him.

"Time's up." Juliet said entering the room. She opened the cell as Kate searched for Jack's eyes, desperately pleading for him to forgive her. Jack, do you want to tell her anything else?" she asked softly.

Jack moved his gaze from Kate to Juliet, then to Kate again.

"Good luck." He said coldly.

She broke down in tears again, tearing her gaze from him. She just confessed everything to him, and he didn't even blink. She suddenly felt Juliet's hand on her arm, pulling her out of the room. She looked up at Jack again, inwardly counting to five, before Juliet put the bag over her head.

It was all over.

_Aww, I suck, I know I do. I should write for LOST ;). Well, if you're real nice, who knows? There might be a sequel… _


End file.
